We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
