Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
