why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
