So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
