I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
