two words: eviction party
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
