forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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