I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
