You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
