You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
