On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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