"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
is that a dick in a sweater?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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