just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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