The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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