he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
