she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
