I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
