I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
