I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
