I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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