I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
