My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
