you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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