We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize