next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
