hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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