I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
