Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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