ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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