Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
