I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
