I have demons in me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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