Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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