I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
