He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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