I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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