It's Friday. Sex?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize