Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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