After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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