Christians are straight up FREAKS
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
