My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
