No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize