I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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