i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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