Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
