I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
be right there i have to get my cape
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
