i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
