I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize