He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
