So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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