At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
