i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
