You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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