FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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